Beacon

The last weekend in June my life changed forever. Everything I thought I knew was irrevocably turned on it's head. I have been clinging to the scattered remains ever since. Trying to make sense of things that just don't make sense. Trying to somehow manage a home and three kids while often wanting desperately to hide under the covers. Trying to remember to breathe and trust and forgive and not get swept under these waves threatening to crush me. Watching my marriage implode, wanting to fix it or save it or, even, deny the reality of it. But in these murky waters it is lost and gone.

One huge beacon has been a man named Joe. The same weekend I discovered the affair, Joe discovered he had stage four melanoma. He has blogged for the past several months; sharing his battle with grace, humor and tremendous insight. He has consistently pointed to the Author and Perfector of our faith. To the One who not only sees our struggles but walks through the fire with us.

His posts have often been so timely for me. Providing just what I needed to hear or be reminded of. As I have prayed for the healing of my marriage and family, I have also prayed for the healing of this dear soul. Today he received full healing. Unfortunately, not as any of us would have wanted. Joe went home to be with his Savior today. I will miss my beacon tremendously. But I am glad that he got to celebrate this Sabbath fully. I am glad he is free from pain.

It will be a wonderful day to finally awaken and know that not only are there no more tears, but no more need of them.